The Secret to Great Style
“The secret of great style is to feel good in what you wear.”
Ines de la Fressange
That’s it. Now you know the insider secret for people with great style.
What’s not so obvious is the how – but HOW in the heck do people feel good in what they wear?! Hint: It actually has nothing to do with your size, shape or age.
It has to do with clothing logistics (a.k.a. how things fit) and mindset (how you feel in what you’re wearing). Read on to learn how to conquer both and feel great in what you wear.
Don’t wear anything that makes you fidget.
Ill-fitting bra straps, I’m looking at you! Jeans that stretch and sag, you’re not getting out of this one either! When you constantly have to adjust the clothes you’re wearing in order to feel comfortable, you fidget. This makes you appear nervous and self-conscious, even when you aren’t. Put yourself at ease, plus look more confident and self-assured by wearing clothes that require no adjusting (and therefore no fidgeting).
Tactical tips to stop fidgeting in its tracks:
Keep bra straps in their place.
I have narrow shoulders, making it difficult for me to find a bra with straps that stay put. Have you ever awkwardly reached your hand down the neck of your shirt to try and subtly pull your bra strap back up? Then you know what I mean – the struggle is real! I remedy that by using this amazing bra strap clip. This inexpensive gadget keeps my bra straps secure, putting me at ease and helping me feel comfortable in whatever I wear.
Use fashion tape for comfort adjustments.
Fashion tape is my best friend – and it should be yours too! I use fashion tape most frequently along the neckline of my shirt to secure it to my bra. I’ve also used it to hem pants in a pinch so I don’t trip over them. I even used it to adjust the sleeve length on a dress so I could dance with the night away at my friend’s wedding instead of readjusting my sleeves every time I raised the roof. (Whoop, whoop! Sorry, couldn’t resist!)
Wear soft fabrics.
Avoid anything scratchy or itchy. A.k.a the ultimate way to look, and feel, uncomfortable! Everyone has a different tolerance level and varying fabric sensitivities. The most comfortable fabrics will be luxe fabrics like cashmere along with fabrics created for softness such as tencel, modal and viscose.
Choose the right top fit.
Select tops that are long enough so you won’t be constantly pulling them down in order to feel comfortable. Tops that are too tight for your personal comfort level can also make you fidget by constantly pulling at them.
Don’t wear jeans that sag.
Find jeans that stretch without sagging so you won’t be constantly pulling them up or feeling self-conscious about a droopy crotch. Look for jeans with a 4-way stretch fabrication. This means they stretch both horizontally and vertically allowing them to stretch while retaining their shape. My personal favorite are Madewell magic pocket jeans.
Don’t wear something just because somebody else told you it looked good, especially (and this is important) if you don’t really believe them.
If you love an item and just need a little confidence boost from an objective eye before you rock it, then wearing something your friend said look good while you were shopping is great. Do that! BUT if you buy something only because someone else told you it looked good on you, chances are you’re not going to feel good in it no matter what.
I see this happen most often with sales associates when you’re at a store, whether it’s because they’re interested in commission or just naturally complimentary about everything their customers try on. But I also see it happen with well-intentioned friends and family. When you feel pressured to buy something just because somebody else makes you feel crazy if you say you don’t like it, you’re probably not going to rock it with confidence. Because, in this instance, you’re dressing to appease someone else, rather than please yourself.
While we’re on the topic, don’t wear something just because somebody else gave it to you.
I come across so many pieces in Clients’ closets that they have simply because it was a gift. They feel like they have to keep it and suffer from guilt pangs if they try to give it away. It’s not until I give them permission to let these things go that they do – and I almost always hear a sigh of relief when that happens.
Wearing something because you feel like you have to, never amounts to feeling good in what you wear. Remember Rachel Green from Friends? She was notorious for exchanging any gift someone tried to get her for something she liked better. And did she ever come across as not feeling good in what she wore or not being confident? Exactly. So the next time you feel too guilty to exchange that sweater, don’t! And if the person asks what happened to the gift they gave you? Here’s what you can say “Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift. I actually exchanged it for another item that felt more authentic to me. I never would have gone to the store and seen this piece if it hadn’t been for you. I’m so happy with what your gift brought into my life!”
Boost your confidence with a mantra.
Sometimes, we just need to ‘fake it until we make it’ and talk as if we already believe we’re amazing in order to feel good in what we wear. So what will your style confidence mantra be? How about:
I am beautiful
I love this outfit!
I am a stylish, put-together person who is confident in what she wears
I love this shirt and I’m the only who needs to love it.
I am constantly receiving compliments on my style
Once you’ve got your mantra, write it out 5 times before you leave the house or say it out loud to yourself 5 times while looking in a mirror. Then repeat it to yourself any time throughout the day when you feel anxious or insecure about your appearance to get your thoughts back on the feel good track.
Be unapologetically you.
This means dressing for YOU. Not for what anyone else will think or with anyone else in mind. Remember that you should dress for yourself, not to appease anyone else. This may feel super challenging but it’s the most direct path to feeling good in what you wear – and therefore, being perceived as having great style. If you’re wearing what you love, you’re going to feel good in what you wear. That’s a fact.
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ABOUT:
I'm a Minneapolis personal stylist on a mission to eradicate outdated style 'rules' so women can unleash themselves in all their beautiful, authentic glory!
I offer personal styling services that empower women to wear what they love by helping them ditch any outdated style rules keeping them stuck, showing them how to dress in a way that embraces their beautiful body and, the key to it all, having fun! I believe in a liberated style approach so there are no style rules, body shapes, seasonal colors or dos and don’ts given out here. Rather, I help my clients tap into what lights them up and dress with the purpose of expressing their authentic selves rather than impressing others.
This is all done through a combination of styling services (including wardrobe edits, shopping trips and styling sessions) available in thoughtfully curated styling packages designed to help clients unleash their true self through the power of style.
When I'm not helping women take back their power style, you can find me reading (about a gazillion books at once), learning the art of pole dancing, making & decorating cakes, binging a random circa 2000's TV show with my hubby, Aaron, while playing with my adorable rescue pup or, of course, shopping! :-)